About two years into feeling like an absolute chaotic mess, I decided it was time to go see a therapist. I needed some tools to cope with my out of control feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, and numbness. I found someone online, and went for two visits. Both were nice and slightly productive, but felt superficial. I needed something more than to just talk to someone about it- I had lots of friends that were open and receptive to discussion who were way less expensive.
At the end of my last session with therapist #1, I went home with a wagon wheel colouring page that had me colour in the ‘spokes’ of my life. There were several spokes, each representing spirituality, physical, emotional, mental, etc. It was an interesting task, and the result provided me with a visual that my life was clearly unbalanced. The physical spoke was almost completely coloured in- due mainly to the fact that I have a dog who needs regular exercise. He made sure I got out of the house twice a day, and for that, during that hard time, I was eternally grateful. I always struggle with making myself a priority, but because he relies on me everyday to care for his basic needs, I made sure that his physical needs were met. As a result, this fulfilled at least one portion of my own basic needs (I am a huge animal pusher, and if ever you need validation for wanting to get a pet, please ask me). The other spokes were spotty which meant that if my life were this wheel, it would break under any weight at all. This was true. But I already knew that. Click HERE to give it a go for yourself.
Thankfully, in a Facebook messenger discussion with a colleague, the name of another local therapist surfaced who had helped her deal with some personal struggles. I made an appointment, not sure what would happen next. All I knew is that I was a mixture of nervous and proud of myself for taking charge of my happiness. I think this is normal. If you are currently having sessions with a therapist who isn’t helpful in giving you actionable steps to reach your mental health goals, then maybe it’s time to try someone else!