I read somewhere on the internet that in some culture (be more vague Christine, really) they view PMS as a time of great clarity. Tonight, I realized that I have the best support system around and decided to write about it live from the bathtub. Being the true lush that I am, I also added half a liter of Epsom salt bubble bath. I’m hoping that my lavender-scented emotional clarity oozes out of this post and spills all over your screen.
I met Chloe in 2012(?) while hiding from my freshly ex-ed boyfriend who was vacating his things from our apartment. Literally- hiding out, crying, rage ranting, and asking her if he was gone yet. Chloe was trying to suppress her nerves as she brought her belongings into a creaky old house that was freshly littered with emotional landmines. It was a tough year for all of us in that “house of heartbreak” (another post will be coming about THAT), but we made new friends, gave each other tattoos, and moved on.
Today Chloe and I talked on the phone. She’s a bubbly, bright, and endlessly friendly person whose spirit animal is my dog Finn. She reached out to me saying that my blog was really resonating with her and she wanted to chat more. To put it lightly, that hour-long phone call was something I didn’t know I so desperately needed. It was like chicken soup for my soul to hear her express similar feelings of unrest, anxiety, and overwhelm. I was not alone. Managing life after the protective identity of “student” is removed can be so hard on individuals with ADHD, and this is commonly a time when women get diagnosed. It made my heart so sad because I knew exactly the place she was in, but also so happy knowing that my journey might help her in some small way. We are cut from the same fabric, and our conversation was like an intense match of ping pong- giving, receiving, and never missing a beat. I called Brett after, babbling on with tear filled eyes to have connected with someone so deeply about something that affects me at my very core. Then crying more because I have such a supportive and loving partner. The struggle is real.
THEN, I check Facebook Messenger and find that my high school girlfriends left a new Canadian documentary about adult ADHD in our group chat. I feel so blessed tonight, and in a crying heap of happy, I realized that I finally finished a can of peas this week. I always beat myself up because although I love canned peas, I always wind up throwing away the second half on the can because I forget that I had it. Not today, motherfuckers. I got this.